If you’re new here, welcome! I’m Ryan, I do not do it all every day, and you can read my story here! It will open in a new tab so come back when you’re done!
What you don’t see
If you’ve ever looked at me and thought “oh my gosh, SUPER woman, look at that do it all mama”…know that behind the scenes is messy because I’m definitely not doing it all. All plates are not spinning at one time:
- When you see me working on a ton of house things, you can bet my family and business is likely not getting my full attention.
- If I’m spending a ton of focused time with family, my house and my business are probably not getting my full attention.
- When you see a ton of business things come out from me, my house and my family are possibly not getting my full attention.
Give yourselves grace, mamas. Flexibility. Ease. You don’t need to do it all, all of the time.
If you’re having trouble deciding what you intentionally want to create in your day, go get this daily planning sheet freebie from me! Print it out, fill it out, check off your boxes! And when they don’t all get checked off, IT’S OKAY!
Why I don’t do it all every day and that is totally okay!
I think it’s easy to pay attention to social media and quickly feel like other people have these perfect rhythms and routines each day that lead to them always getting everything done. It seems like they can always just do it all.
Maybe they do! That’s absolutely okay if that’s their priority. It’s just not mine and it’s okay if it isn’t yours either.
I have four kids and number five is coming VERY soon. Two are in school for 6 hours a day. Two are home all day. Every day I have at least 15 plates of food to get on the table. Four other bodies to dress and four other heads of hair to maintain. This is not including myself. Right now I’m exhausted from pregnancy and I physically cannot bend over and easily pick things up off the floor. To do it all would be physically straining.
In so many ways, having four children who range from almost one to 5 1/2 in age is much much easier than when we only had twins who were under 2 years old. The older girls help with the younger girls.
However, when I thought about a large family before actually having one, I always thought that the older kids helping with the younger was an unfair burden to place on them.
Instead, I’ve come to realize two things in the last year:
- my older girls LOVE to help out their younger sisters and actually do so without us asking most of the time
- they are learning life skills that are invaluable while helping out
Leaning into this has helped our family so much. It has brought ease to many parts of the day that used to cause stress and be very unpredictable. It’s helped our family grow without the actual growth of it being too much of a hindrance to other priorities.
What are those other priorities of mine? I also run a business. I have growth goals. Personal development time is important to me. I have goals to move my body in some way each day. It’s a lot and it requires commitment.
Here’s where the grace comes in…
On top of these priorities and commitments are a TON of things I simply do not put pressure on myself to do every day. It’s not realistic and it’s not fair to expect myself to do it all, all day, every single day.
A load a laundry a day would be nice. Laundry happens in waves around here. I want to be that person that keeps up with it all the time and the reality is I’ve never been that person. Maybe I’ll make it a goal once I’m not pregnant anymore. Maybe not!
Ending the day with an empty sink would be nice. This is mostly Evan’s territory. And between the two of us we still don’t make it happen every day or even every other day. It’s just that other things are more important.
Having a cleaning routine to keep up with things would be nice. Floors one day. Kitchen the next. Sheets stripped on Thursdays. Sounds dreamy and nope – we don’t even come close to this. Again, it comes in waves. And that’s okay. There’s no prize for a do it all day, every day.
Doing baths or showers for my kids every night would be nice. We’ve never done this every single night and we probably never will. Our kids have also hated baths until they are around 3 years old so while it is definitely getting easier, it’s just not a battle I’m willing to take on every night. Let them be a little oily. They’re fine!
Getting out of the house as a family would be awesome every weekend. It doesn’t happen. Sometimes we do it all. Most times we are homebodies and we are all totally happy to stay home with one another.
Every day can have a rhythm also be different
Perfection doesn’t exist. We don’t get a huge shiny trophy on the day we do it all. Choose to do it differently each day based on what’s most important while still preserving your own balance and sanity. I’m here cheering you on!