last year my word was VIBRANT. I wanted to feel vibrant. It took until november to really get to the root of what was keeping me from a baseline, vibrant feeling – my gut health and protein intake. no judgement about it taking that long though, it all happened how it should.
this year my word is SHINE. I had a list of words trying to get to the knowing feeling inside of what it was, but none of them did it justice. then a few days ago, my favorite song was played for me on a work call. the name of it? “shine” by jason mraz. and as I sat here this morning going through that list of words, I remembered “shine”- and now I know it’s the word because it makes my eyes water.
I’ve been thinking and working toward letting my light out. I kept getting stuck though – I don’t want to be something I’m not. and I’m realizing that’s it’s more than that. it’s letting my light shine. having it all shine out. the vibrant is there now and it’s allowing me to appreciate more and more the things that I’ve judged about myself in the past as true gifts that need to shine through.
I wanted to share my first shine lesson of the year that just happened. My whole life I’ve been told by others “you’re so calm and steady. you’re the calm in the storm. thank goodness for your calmness”. sounds like a great trait right? it is. and I’ve been criticized for it too. told I need to be something different than this. I’m sure you’ve had an experience like this too. someone unknowingly dimming your light.
on top of this, I’ve always also judged myself for not being more outwardly expressive with my emotions. I’ve envied those whose emotions seem to beam out of their bodies when they talk. I’ve thought that maybe I just shove feelings down and that was wrong to do and I needed to be different and show more emotion more often. But then I came across something and my whole perspective changed.
how I feel things, my emotional type in human design, is literally called “non-emotional”. when I read it the first time it made me pause and giggle a bit. I thought “well, yeah, hah – that’s definitely it”. but what it actually means is that my natural state is cool, calm and collected. A clear lake. I only feel things when something is happening around me that I pick up on and it makes me feel a certain way.
50% of the population live their lives on highs and lows that have nothing to do with what’s going on in the world around them – their emotional background setting going up and down, while mine is steady. this makes me an expert at picking up on what others are feeling because I don’t have background emotions going on. I can also very easily pick up others emotions that are not my own because of this though, so I have to be careful to detach from that so I can remain in my powerful, natural state.
this is the first time I feel I can truly own, like 100% own, this aspect of who I am. it’s my secret sauce. trying to be something other than this will never work for me because this is who I am. fighting against that is just such a waste of energy and time, it will never get me where I want to go. embracing and working with what I have – that’s it right there.
this year as I live into the word shine ✨, I hope that it brings out the light in you too. whether that’s through a perspective shift or permission to be who you are or to lower unbearable expectations you have of yourself.
this all started for me because I let my insides feel good with greens and more protein first – getting my basic needs met. bringing my body to where it could feel satiated and relieved of stress. only THEN I could see more clearly, picking up more and more capacity each day.
whatever it is that will bring you more light this year and help you shine, I can’t wait to see it all unfold, my friend. ✨ in service of you and this space we are in together… 🙏🏼❤️✨
